What a Pandemic Has Taught Me
Like many my life has changed dramatically from January to now. In the span of one month, I went from living my dream, attending college in America to travelling through completely dead LAX, isolating for two weeks with no human contact being trapped between four walls, to currently not being able to leave my house.
We cannot deny that we are living through unprecedented times. These unusual months have brought a time that is so emotional or confusing. The rollercoaster I am riding takes me from carefree, clarity and relaxed places to anxiety, distraught and frustration. We are all faced with many complex emotions. During these daunting times, it is normal to be overwhelmed and scared but it is the uncertainty that is making me the most uncomfortable.
Earlier this year I was living in Fort Collins, Colorado attending Colorado State University. I was living my sixteen-year-old self’s dream, I worked my butt off to move to America. By the end of March, I had only three days notice to pack my life up and head home to New Zealand for an unknown amount of time. My family decided it was safest to bring me home as we could see things were rapidly increasing in America. I flew back to New Zealand where all travellers are forced into two weeks of quarantine. I was permitted to have zero contact with another person and now New Zealanders who travel back to New Zealand are put into government-paid hotels to watch over their fourteen-day quarantine. Statistics show more New Zealanders arriving than leaving the country for the first time ever.
With all this time restricted to my house, I have found myself reflecting upon my experience with isolation and quarantine. This is what I have learnt so far;
I am not an expert. Here is advice from experts for people who are struggling with self-isolation.
Some days I wake up feeling motivated, energized, positive and grounded. Some days I wake up super tired, heavy, hungry and do nothing all day. This is okay. I thought not being in control of my days was dangerous but again I have become grounded knowing, this is okay. In my pre-COVID-19 days, I would never find myself sitting for two hours and reading, I never thought I would have the time to do so. This isolation period has made me realize how much pressure I put on myself in my normal life, to be in a strict regime within all aspects of my life. Always be on the go but I have learnt to embrace being able to read for two hours or binge a television series all day.
The days where I do nothing are sometimes more profound and impactful than my active busy days.
As humans, we are naturally meant to make connections. It is in our biological nature to make eye contact with people, we are beings of connection. Social distancing and being apart from each other has not been easy. Experiences, where we are connected, is what leaves us feeling fulfilled and worthwhile. I have learnt we need a sense of connection.
I have been challenged to get creative with how to socialize. My old roommate and I frequently make our lunches together over Facetime as if we would be doing back in our old apartment. Don’t lose the complete sense of connection, we need it. This can offer support networks or an emotional pick-me-up.
Importantly I have learnt to be kind(er.) Be kind to myself, you can’t get away from yourself so you may as well be kind; it will be more pleasant. Be kind to the man in front of you waiting to go into the supermarket, he might be living on his own during these times and a simple hello can bring a smile to his face. Be kind to the essential workers, the people who still have to work that are providing food for your family, the supermarket workers, be kind to them. Be kind to the healthcare workers, the cleaners, the brave workers, send care packages or food vouchers to your local hospital. Do what you can, where you can to be kind. And When the time has come and we can resort to a more “normal” life, continue to be kind.
I learnt I had to find a way to express myself, to let out these pent-up emotions. My relief has been music. Music has allowed me to face my emotions, deal with them and healthily express these. This enables me to take control, by removing the power from the uncontrollable emotions that are held over myself. If music is not for you it might be picking up an old hobby, putting time into your passions or meditation. Find your relief.
As I have continuously pondered on what I would be doing or want to be doing during this pandemic, I have found myself making future plans. Plans as in where I want to be in the next 5 years. This inspires and motivates me to be positive looking into the future.
This is my own experience. I have learnt to have gratitude being safe in a house where I can isolate myself and my family from other people, where we are warm with a roof over my head and food on the table. I continue to count my blessings every day.
When we are back to our fast-driven lifestyles, back to our “norm” I believe I will have some days where I will wish to be back in isolation. People of our generation pride ourselves in hard work above anything else. When I am back working my butt off, I am sure someday I’d wish I could be cooped up inside getting lost in a book for two hours. surrendered to what is and accepted it. Life hasn’t gone the way I’ve wanted it to or how many wanted it to, but we must carry on however we can.
Stepping back to look at a FaceTime from where I’d rather be has allowed me to surrender to what life is and accept it. Life hasn’t gone the way I’ve wanted it to or how many wanted it to, but we must carry on however we can.
In the beginning, the uncertainty of my future swallowed me but as I have had plenty of time on my hands I have come to terms with the uncertainty. No one knows what the future has in store for us so I am now excited for the unknown. I tell myself this was a little set back for a huge step forward. I have understood havoc and chaos leads to clarity. There is a calm once the storm passes.
